


Just another day at the office

by Steph_Schell



Category: Drive Angry (2011)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Surprise Kissing, The way it should have ended
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-14 00:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3401957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steph_Schell/pseuds/Steph_Schell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One day I will stop writing "the way it should have ended" fics for this movie.  Today is not that day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just another day at the office

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dragomir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragomir/gifts), [3988Akasha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/3988Akasha/gifts).



Piper watched the Accountant talk to Milton. She wished they would just hurry up already. Milton had given her his granddaughter of his own free will and no court in heaven or on earth could change that. Piper was hoping to celebrate with her husband but he probably wouldn’t show up until after Milton was gone. 

Of course that was discounting his flair for the dramatic.

The Accountant summoned a car for Milton and him to go back to hell. Before they could get in, the passenger door opened and a figure stepped out. Piper squealed, Milton roared and the Accountant gave them all a smug smile.

Leaning against the car was the one and only Jonah King. A pair of sunglasses his his eyes and a cigarette dangled from his mouth. HIs red silk shirt had been replaced by a black thermal with long sleeves pushed up to show off his arms. His black leather pants remained. “Who missed me?” he puffed.

“Mr. King,” the Accountant greeted, a small smile belying his calm and regulated voice. “You took your time returning to us.”

“Man has to make an entrance,” Jonah pointed out. He dropped the cigarette and crushed it under his cowboy boots. “Now, I believe you and I have business to conduct.”

“That we do.” The Accountant threw his coin in the air. When it landed it had turned into an accounting ledger. 

While the Accoutant searched for the right page, Jonah hung his glasses in the vee of his shirt. He winked over at Milton who couldn’t seem to move no matter how he tried. “Miss me?” he grinned.

“You’re supposed to be gone,” Milton growled. “Evaporated from existence.”

Jonah smirked as he took the ledger from the Accountant. “You should read the fine print before waving weapons around,” he suggested. Then frowned at he looked at the ledger. “This isn’t the correct total.”

“The cult only counts when all members are dead,” the Accountant replied. “You left the one woman alive.”

“I didn’t leave her alive, I was killed before she was taken care of. Why didn’t you kill her?”

“You know very well that I’m not allowed to interfere. But she’s hiding back there if you want to finish the job.”

Jonah sighed. “Man’s gotta do everything for himself around here, doesn’t he? Very well. Give me a moment.”

As he headed to deal with the last member of his cult, the Accountant turned to Milton. “To answer the rage on your face, Mr. King works for me.”

“For you?” Milton repeated.

“Mr. King is what’s known as a Bookkeeper. You see, Milton, I’m a very busy man and I don’t have time to hunt down every delinquent on my list. So people like Jonah are contracted to do it for me.”

Webster spoke up for the first time. “What do you mean contracted?”

They heard the sound of a gun going off and the Accountant wrote something in his book before answering. “Mr. King owes a certain amount of his life to my employer.” He glanced at Webster. “That would be Lucifer in case you’re unsure. At any rate, the more souls he gains for me, the longer he lives. Which also explains how he escaped the God Killer.”

“If you want to be sure to survive anything, owe the devil a debt,” Jonah declared as he returned. He looked at the Accountant. “We square?”

“Indeed we are, Mr. King,” the Accountant nodded. “I simply need your signature and your blood as usual and the deal is done.”

“Same as always Jonah sighed. He signed with a flourish and uncapped the back of the pen to reveal a knife. Then he pricked his thumb and scattered his blood on the page. “The deal is sealed,” he declared. “And I have five years of my life back.” He handed the book back to the Accountant with a heated look. “I’ll be seeing you later,” he promised and slapped the Accountant’s ass as he headed towards Piper.

She set the baby down safely on the altar and ran to Jonah with a squeal. He lifted her into his arms as they shared a soul searing kiss. “Oh Jonah,” she breathed as they pulled apart.

“My Piper,” he growled between brief kisses. “Gonna take you to the nearest motel and ride you until neither of can walk.”

“Fuck yes,” Piper breathed. They shared another kiss before Jonah put her on her feet. “You ready to meet your new daughter?” she asked with a grin.

“I’ve already met her,” Jonah reminded Piper.

“Yeah but I meant as her daddy,” Piper giggled.

“Alright, let me see her,” he smiled.

Piper led him back to the altar and placed the baby girl in his arms. “I was thinking about Annabelle as a good name,” she said shyly. “After your mother. What do you think?”

“I think Annabelle’s a fine name,” Jonah murmured as he cuddled his new daughter. “And she’ll be a fine Bookkeeper.”

“One of the best,” Piper agreed.

Before they could continue admiring their new child, Milton finally recovered his senses. He reached for the closest weapon he could grab-a tire iron- and threw it at them. His aim was off but it was enough to shake the couple out of their own little world. Both parents pressed close to Annabelle to protect her. “If you please,” Jonah snapped, looking over at Milton. “Your granddaughter is trying to sleep.”

“You can’t have her,” Milton stated.

“Who the hell is gonna stop us?” Piper snorted. “You’re on your way back to hell.”

“You said you were going to take care of her,” Milton said, desperation evident in his voice.

“And I will,” Piper agreed. “I’m going to raise her to hunt souls for hell just like me and my husband.” She caressed Annabelle’s head. “I always wanted a little girl.” Piper turned to smile at Milton. “And now you’ve given me one. I should thank you. But you also tried to kill my Jonah,” she leaned up to kiss her husband’s cheek, “so I don’t think I will.”

“Husband?” Milton demanded. “But you said…”

“I lied,” Piper shrugged. “Look, no one told you to believe me. That was your mistake. And our gain.”

“We need to get her to a hotel,” Jonah said softly. “Time to go.”

Piper nodded and looked to the Accountant. She made a swift motion with her head and Accountant threw Milton into the car. “Until tonight, Sweet Piper,” he nodded. Then the two of them were off to Hell.

Jonah and Piper went back to the car Webster had driven to the scene. It was the only working car and they couldn’t afford questions right now. Jonah slid in the driver’s seat before taking Annabelle into his arms. Then he passed Piper some money and pointed to Webster. Piper headed over to the other man to give him the money. “For the car,” she explained. “We don’t have a trailer any more and we can’t just hitchhike with a baby and all. But Jonah beleives in paying debts.”

“I can’t…” Webster began, “Milton was my friend Piper…”

Piper gave him a sad, sympathetic look as she pulled out a gun. “You weren’t on anyone’s list so I know you’re going to a good place, Webster. But do you really want to go there so soon?”

“He was my friend,” Webster repeated.

“And now he’s in Hell,” Piper responded. “So you might as well take the money and go on with your life. We’ll visit you one day, the three of us. And you can see how Annabelle is growing. But I need you to take the money and not raise a fuss. If you can promise me that now, I’ll let you live.”

Webster weighed his options. If they killed him, it wasn’t likely to help the child any. They were going to take the girl no matter what he did. “You have to promise to raise her right.”

“We will,” Piper nodded. “Are you going to let us go?”

“Not like I have much of a choice,” Webster sighed. He took the money she offered. “I’d like to see her once in a while if you don’t mind though. See how she’s getting along.”

“I’ll talk to Jonah,” Piper nodded. “We do a lot of business all over the country. But I’ll talk to him.” She smiled and went back to her family.

After Piper was buckled in, Jonah handed Annabelle to her. “Ready to go?” he asked.

“Ready as ever,” Piper nodded, settling the infant in her arms.

Jonah turned on the radio and “Raise a Little Hell” came pouring out of the speakers. Both adults laughed. “I think we’ll do just that,” Jonah declared as they drove off.


End file.
